I am a smartphone addict, a hashtag quipper, and a social media butterfly.
I love how my Samsung smartphone keeps me connected to my family, friends, work, and even my diet/exercise. But I’m starting to realize just how addicted I am to my connector to the universe.
Recently on a family beach trip, my wife and I took a long walk on the beach. I had my Samsung S4 in my pocket and my wife had her iPhone in hand during the walk, you know…just in case. We began to notice something we’ve never seen before at the beach. On a beautiful day with only a few waves, we were blown away by the number of people sitting in beach chairs staring endlessly at their smartphones. No sharks anywhere to be seen and the water seemed to only be reserved for the smartphoneless. Later that night, we had a big family gathering for beach pictures, and we laughed as we looked at everyone at the end of the photo shoot with heads all down as they feverishly uploaded pictures to Instagram as a beautiful sun sets in the background unnoticed. We had a long conversation about what the next generation may miss flying right by them as we are all “heads down” to our smartphone.
Everyone remembers the classic YouTube video of the woman who fell in the fountain at the mall as she was wexting, walking and texting. In an effort to make light of our growing ability to multi-task and flaunt our smartphone addictions everywhere, here is my top 10 mashup for smartphone multi-taskers:
10 Multi-tasks Common to Smartphone Addicts
- Platebooking – Uploading pictures of your dinner so everyone can see how well you are eating. Too bad its getting cold. #ilikeitcold
- Candy Sitting* – Playing Candy Crush while babysitting. The kiddos will scream if they need help, and we have got to get past level 36 without buying our way out. That app looks like a kid’s dream on my Samsung S4, but if you let them play while you are “babysitting”, they will get frustrated with its adult complexity and throw your device across the room. #babysittingchamp
- 4 Questions 1 Word – Actually the name of the app is 4 Pics 1 Word, but if you try talking to someone while they are playing it – you’ll ask them a question 4 times before they give you a 1 word answer. #wordsmith
- FlipThrone – No need for a magazine rack in the bathroom anymore. Don’t need details here, just a public service announcement to never borrow other people’s smartphones. #cloroxwipe
- Stop and Smell the Posts – When we skip “soaking in” a special moment because we immediately feel the need to post it to Facebook, Instagram, Google+, Vine, YouTube, and Vimeo. Post it later after the moment passes and relive it. LinkedIn can always wait until first thing on Monday morning. #preciousposts
- Biogramming – Documenting your life through Instagram. Just line up the pics and flip through them for a full-length movie. You know who you are, and so does everybody else! #instragrammy
- LunchFlix – Ever seen someone during their lunch break with headphones and out of touch smartphone stare while picking at their food. Netflix and Hulu are awesome, but chatting with your co-workers may be more impactful to your life than Lost or Downtown Abbey**. #lunchroomabbey
- MyFitnessCramp – Logging your fitness accomplishment immediately after finishing has replaced stretching so that you don’t forget that you ran 3 miles. Post a video of the charley horse in the middle of the night before you stretch it out too. You too can get 141K views of a painful moment. #grownmancry
- Blind Glassing – Scoping out your blind date pregame or in the moment to enhance the conversation. Google Glass could take this to another level (Google Glass Blind Date). It would be a super cool experiment to overhaul your profile to some crazy funny stuff about a week before a blind date and see if you catch them in the act. #itsnotstalking
- HashtagStorming – Pretty sure people are going to start quoting “hashtag” before verbal punchlines pretty soon. They are awesome, but if you have spent more than 10 minutes thinking of one, that is 9 minutes and 50 seconds too long. #2hrstowritethisblog***
But seriously, our smartphones are great, and that is why we are so addicted to them. If you are a smartphone addict like I am, what would you do without your device for a week? Develop a nervous twitch? Would your friends call the police because you stopped posting? How long would your rehab last before you could afford to buy a new smartphone at full price (usually $500 – $800)?
We are a little biased at Protectyourbubble.com, but we think that it is really important to buy smartphone insurance for your iPhone or smartphone if it connects you to so much of your life. If you lose or damage your device, we’ll make sure your rehab stint is as short as possible. Check us out. #totallysharethis
*Candy Sitting sounded better than Baby Crushing
**Highly depends on your co-workers’ awesomeness balanced against the conversations you will miss out on with your friends because you are behind the times – except if you watching Lost. #LastSeasonStinks